40 Days of Hell to Heaven

Should God see fit to help me fight and win this battle, the day and the spoils will be his. To be granted his peace and walk alongside him will be my treasure, though my motivation to acquire said treasure is practically nonexistent. I can't see it.

God help me, I'm fracking weak. It's only when I'm sated do I feel free of my desire, my hunger. I suppose that's the call sign of a middle term in a battle, whoever's not trying to kill you, you try to side with. Unfortunately, this makes me the bad guy.

"Father seek me in my darkest day
find me in the cinder pile
I am left alone and burned away
I am weeping all the while"

Pastor Eric said:
"I cry out to you today, God. I ask that you come and visit me; that you come right into my life, right into my circumstances; that you will take your loving hands and begin to smooth out the wrinkles and complexities of my life. I thank you that you have good in store for me, blessings that you want to have come my way. Give me the courage to order my day, to put the right things first and keep them there; and to build the right boundaries and parameters in my life so that I don’t stray from the way I know I should go. Then, I know your blessings will come; your abundance will start to flow in my life. God, I’m desperate for you today, to show up, to show strong and to change me. Make me like you, I pray. In Jesus’ name, Amen."

May it be, may it be.
God save my soul, may it be.