The Marriage of the Unknowns

I know this is a first post, but if I'm going to talk about things I'm seeing, I might as well start here.

It just... absolutely amazes me to see young people getting married in large numbers. I don't quite get it. Several friends of mine have recently gotten married, and in one case engaged. It's like a virus that's been running amuck among people I know. Let's give the situations.

1: A friend was engaged and living with her fiance. No-one considered them to be proper together. Not because either were necessarily bad people, but that they simply didn't belong together. She tells me that she's about to move out of the apartment she shares with him, gets an apartment, but doesn't move into it because another friend of hers really needs an apartment and she lets her use it on a temporary basis.
I call her work just two weeks later, asking for Ms. "Johnston" (name changed for "don't want to be slapped" purposes, and the lady at the other end is like, You mean, Mrs. "Feldman?" I'm like, No, Ms. Johnston. And the lady replies, emphasizing You mean Mrs FELDMAN?
I was pissed. I had expected better of my friend. Not that this kills my relationship with her as a friend, but I just felt like she had succumbed to something we had talked at length about and that we understood she would be wise about.
I understand it's her life, and that I don't have authority in it. I respect her right to make her own decisions, but it pains me to see my friends make mistakes. Not necessarily the decisions themselves, but how they go about enacting them.

//My understanding of marriage is limited to a single's view, but it's view I don't let sit in ignorance whenever I have opportunity to enhance it with information from people I consider successful in their relationships. Too many people think they know but make no effort to test their knowledge when it comes to marriage and relationships.//

2: My best friend calls me and tells me that she's getting engaged. I'm like, that's not funny. She laughs and thinks its funny, then reaffirms her engagement. I repeat that it's not funny and ask who the hell she might be getting married to, considering the fact that she hasn't dated in awhile and tells me periodically that: "I'm finally to a point that I don't need a relationship in my life." or "I'm talking with (Insert name of one of two previous boyfriends) and I think God wants us to be together!"
She can tell I'm not enthusiastic, as could the example in number 1, but tells me that everyone thinks that this particular man has changed and is really right for her. Mind you, this same boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend at the end of high school, and recently got out of the Army. That and he just headed for college three states away.

*shakes my head*

3: More acquaintances than real friends, but getting stupid nonetheless. I'm not saying that they're unintelligent, but this is starting to grate my nerves all the way around. A couple, young folks at my church, got married just this week, no more than a month after having to "separate" for reasons that were left undisclosed to me.
The groom approached her family, whom he knew though not intimately, and asked their blessing. They refused it, but not for belief in his ability to be an appropriate husband for their daughter but more for a matter of timing, as they haven't been engaged more than six months (among other things).
Come Sunday, I found out the whole ordeal, and can't help but shake my head.

What are we losing? Our youth is so afraid of being alone that they'll run into marriage thinking that it will solve their problems.

Marriage solves nothing, marrying rashly solves less.
Marriage creates situations that prepared couples deal with, and unprepared couples find as problems. The more rashly you marry, the more unprepared you will be, and the more problematic your marriage will be.

Each person entering a marriage has their own set of problems. (2 sets of problems)
Marriage in an of itself creates a whole set of problems on it's own. (1 set of problems)
Participants must deal with all the problems in the marriage, so each person finds 3 sets of problems to deal with, trippling what they faced before tying the knot. What does that mean? It means that you must be prepared to deal with all of that, or should have already dealt with it before you actually got married.

Marriage is not a proving ground of your relationship, it should be the consumation of success of your relationship. This is not to say that your relationship will be or should be complete, I'm not saying that at all. Life changes us every day, and therefore our relationships will evolve as we do. However, people hope marriage will create a euphoric place for humanity to find its peace with each other.

Young people are too busy ignoring the older people who already are too afraid to tell them the right way to go because they messed it up enough themselves. Because of this perpetual blinding, young folks will continue groping for another's body instead of another's soul.

Marriage is not about how good you feel about another person, but about the life you two will create on a daily basis. When will you consider her less a part of your life when you get tired of seeing her? This is not about the warm fuzzies, but the dreary, endless days you two will share. Not that married life is hell (unless you make it that way), but about what everyone faces, everyday, every night.

The daily grind you feel now, you will still feel 30 years after you get married.
The lonliness might still exist, the boredom most likely will, and the heart of who you are will never change, unless you are prepared to build it yourself. No-one can change you and you can change no-one. Accept who you are, stand for only those who complete you, not make you feel good. Stand for wat you believe in, believe what you stand for, and practice what you preach. Don't let your heart lead your head and always be willing to stop the good feelings to make sure you're not happily walking to your death.

-Mr. Michael