Ending all Niceties

It's about time I finish this shit once and for all. I've been held in a Binding since sixth grade, and have yet to have found a reason to end it.

I think I have, but I'm going to have to follow my mind in this one, most certainly not my heart. My heart has been leading my head around like a puppy on a leash. It's time to end it.

With a scent on my nose, I'm taking lead. I'm taking command.

Master Thyself. It's time I take my own god-damned advice and put all my faith in God. He's been waiting on me. I've been ... doing something else.

This is going to be ... I must change. I must see this through to the end. no more excuses. No more lies. No more hiding from the Truth. I'm a prophet for Jesus sake! I'm supposed to obey God first, the truth second. God will always be first, but I'm ignoring both for my own pleasure.

For whatever reason I started in this Binding and never turned back, I now declare them null and void, and I'm moving on. My god is my truth, my promise, my savior, my healer, my friend, my home ...

I must live accordingly.

Now, to end my childhood and embrace the manhood God is calling for me. Cultivate my talents, but grow up. Don't use my skills as a hiding place, a safety blanket. No more cheap insults and picking at others and their differences. I shouldnt' give a flying fuck what they do as long as it isn't immoral or detrimental to others. I should be happy in the variety of life around me, people with different places, people, hobbies and loves they call their own.

Where have I been? Blinding to stupidity for disheartening acts I create on my own. This stupid blindness in this sea of fantasy is about to sink and sink hard. I'm swimming for the shoreline, alone and toward my God. He is my rock, my redeemer, my love, my destiny.

My he reign forevermore. May I stop this foolishness and embrace everything he has to offer me.

"Father, in your holy name I come, and I ask your forgiveness for decades of disbelief, putting away my faith, willingly blinding myself, backsliding, lust, adultery, ignorance, and continually running away. I admist my sins, and they are numerous. I have done terrible things, whether in my mind or in my heart, I have done them. It's time I admit, and kill them.

"You are my only provider, my only truth, my only heart. I must embrace you first, and let you bring all other things under me as you see fit, not me. You are the rock of ages, the love of my life, the heart of my soul, the king of my life. You are above the mountains, yet see every falling leave, every moving ant, every thought within our minds. You are the incredible, loving, supernatural God. You are my Lord and King, and to you I pledge my allegiance and life.

"I come bearing my sins, my hopes, my fears and my life. Everything I have, own, or hope to own, I give to you, right now, in the name of Jesus. You are worthy of so much more than I could ever give, so I give you all I have, and ask that you smile upon me anyway, and accept this meager offering.

"Wash me clean, dear Father, for I am dirty. Years of grime and soot have made this poor boy burdened with a black heart, and an uncompassionate soul. I do not know how I've gotten thes way, but Father, I want to feel teh glory of your presence, each and every day of my life. You are my Lord, and my soul-mate.

"Help me end this, dear Father. Grow within me a tree of self-disclipline - strong, tall, outreaching, and welcoming. It is time I change.

"Strength, Honor, Faith, and Love - In Service of Him Who Rules Above.

"In the name of my Lord Jesus Christ,

"Amen."